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If you’re working on a Sunday, this is definitely the place to do it. Thanks for a great #gentlediscipline workshop Wiltshire! . . . #gentleparenting #positiveparenting #positivediscipline #authorlife #blueskyfordaysI think one of the most important things I’ve learned in the past 15yrs I’ve been working with new families, is that listening is the most powerful response. . New parents in particular need to feel heard and validated. They just want someone to listen and tell them they’re doing a good job, that the difficulty won’t last forever. . . What they don’t need is 1001 suggestions of what they could do differently! Have you tried white noise? Have you tried lavender? Have you tried coconut oil? Have you tried an earlier bedtime? Have you tried a later bedtime? Have you tried not feeding to sleep? Have you tried weaning? Have you tried more naps? Have you tried less naps? Have you tried a reward chart? Have you tried a different potty? Have you tried xxxxxxxx? It just goes on and on and on and on. . Mostly, they didn’t ask for advice. They didn’t ask for suggestions. They just wanted to offload, to get some empathy for their tiredness, their stress, their anxieties. When they are barraged with “have you tried this” it can undermine and make them feel worse. The constant conflicting suggestions are confusing and they subtly indicate that perhaps they’re doing something wrong. . It’s much better to respond with “I hear you, it’s tough. Want to talk about it?” Than “have you tried....?”. UNLESS they very specifically ask for your thoughts about what they should change. . . . #gentleparenting #newparents #parentingadvice #sarahockwellsmith #attachmentparenting #consciousparenting #peacefulparenting #positiveparenting #mindfulmothering #mindfulmotherhood #keepyouropinionstoyourself #babycalm #toddlercalm #gentlediscipline #gentlesleep #gentlesleeptraining #sleeptraining #newbornExcited; this gorgeous little book has finally arrived, after winging its way over to my little English cottage from the big US of A! . . Writing books is so abstract, it never feels real until you get a finished copy in your hands. Seeing words on a computer screen is no match for holding it, feeling it (is it just me who likes to stroke a book’s cover if it looks especially tactile?) and smelling it. It’s only at this point that it starts to feel real and you think “oh my goodness, I made a book!”. Actually it’s very much like holding your baby for the first time having previously only seen them in a thin, flimsy ultrasound printout. . . Anyway, Ready, Set, Go is out in the USA and Canada on June 5th. 18 more days to go! It’s a gentle and evidence based guide to potty training. No bribery, no rewards, no punishments, no 3 day race and as little stress and most fun as possible! . . (For those in the U.K./Australia/NZ - this is the same as my Gentle Potty Training Book - same contents, different cover and language/references changed for the US market!). . BTW - how bloody hard is it to take a selfie of yourself with a book?!! 😂 . . . #readysetgo #readysetgopotty #gentlepottytraining #gentlepottytrainingbook #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #peacefulparenting #attachmentparenting #positiveparenting #naturalparenting #pottytraining #toddlercalm #pottylearning #toilettraining #toiletlearning #pottytrainingboys #pottytrainingbook #sarahockwellsmith .I hate this phrase. I hate how people use it to dismiss valid arguments and evidence about anything from cry based sleep training to smacking/spanking and things like very early weaning and putting babies in their own bedrooms from birth. . These people have no idea in most cases if these practices did them harm, because they don’t know what they would have been like otherwise. They are not qualified to assess harm and cognitive dissonance prevents us from admitting our own flaws. Even if they genuinely experienced no harm, it doesn’t mean that nobody will. Anecdotes aren’t evidence. Risks aren’t guarantees. . What winds me up most though, is I think in many cases you can quite clearly see that they *have* been caused harm. Perhaps you know they have relationship issues, issues with confidence or anxiety, or simply - they have an empathy deficit. They weren’t raised with empathy, so struggle to empathise with the feelings of children. Somebody who doesn’t believe that children deserve respect and love is quite clearly somebody who didn’t receive enough of them as a child. That’s huge proof of harm to me! . . . #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #mindfulparenting #naturalparenting #peacefulparenting #positiveparenting #mindfulmotherhood #mindfulmothering #gentlemum #gentlemama #gentlemothering #gentlemotherhood #gentlediscipline #gentlesleep #toddlercalm #sarahockwellsmith #itneverdidmeanyharm #itdidntdomeanyharmTop Posts & Pages
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Tag Archives: gentle parenting elf
Five Reasons why I Hate Elf on the Shelf
Every few years a new parenting ‘must have’ comes along. These toys, sleep props, books and nursery items quickly develop a cult like following. Parents can quickly get sucked in, often feeling left out, or rather worrying that their children are left out if they don’t jump on the trendy train. The truth is children miss out on nothing without an elf. Christmas is no less magical without them. Continue reading
