You build the secure groundworks in infancy and then, little by little, day by day, you construct a tower of supportive scaffolding as you meet your child’s needs. Once that tower is complete, it’s time to remove the scaffolding boards, or Jenga blocks, one by one, little by little, at the pace of your own unique child. If you try to remove a block and things get a little wobbly, you reinstate it and continue to provide that support, but still with an eye on ‘letting go’ (no matter how much your instincts may be screaming at you to ‘hold on’.
Tag Archives: raising teens
Demetrescence & Woman’s Hour
Last week I was lucky enough to be a guest on Woman’s Hour, discussing the transition that mothers of teens go through, a little like Matrescence (the new motherhood transition), Demetrescence is the metamorphosis that mothers of tweens and teens transition through, which changes them in body and in mind.
Demetrescence – the motherhood transition that comes with raising teenagers
When writing my new book ‘How to Raise a Teen’, I took inspiration from Demeter’s story and named the transition of ‘later parenting’ Demetrescence. The ‘de’ prefix indicating a sort of reversal of matrescence, but with an emphais on Demeter, understanding that this is not the end, but rather a new beginning of a different relationship with your (almost) adult child.
How to Raise a Teen
Am I suggesting that teenagers are always right and adults are always wrong? Absolutely not. Teens often do, and say, stupid things – indeed, I expect this is part of the reason why you’re reading this book – and raising them is often infuriating and
exhausting. They make mistakes, they get angry, they get into trouble, they can be lazy, rude, obstinate and argumentative. I’m not making excuses for any of these behaviours or saying that they are OK. What I am saying, is that the best way through these years is to work with your teens, to support them, guide them and to understand them, rather than working against them, as so much parenting advice suggests.
No, it’s not their hormones! The real reason parents struggle with teen behaviour (and what to do about it).
“It’s their hormones!” If you raise a concern about your young person in a group of other parents, I can guarantee that within a minute talk will turn to hormones. If your young person is male, any difficulties you have will be blamed on the fact that their body is “swimming in testosterone”; if theyContinue reading “No, it’s not their hormones! The real reason parents struggle with teen behaviour (and what to do about it).”
The last Christmas toy – why the festive season hits different when you have teenagers
The following is a short excerpt from my new book ‘How to Raise a Teen‘: Have you ever thought about the last time you did something with your young person (YP)? When they are little, we commemorate their firsts; first steps, first words, first solid food, their first pair of shoes and the first timeContinue reading “The last Christmas toy – why the festive season hits different when you have teenagers”
Does Raising Children with Compassion make them Ill-Prepared for Living in the Real World?
I often read comments from those dismissing a respectful style of parenting saying but the world is tough, you don’t do children any favours by mollycoddling them. It’s better to prepare them for the real world”
Sarah Ockwell-Smith 