Author Archives: SarahOckwell-Smith

The Gentle Parenting Stance on Santa/Father Christmas

“What’s the Gentle Parenting stance on Santa (or Father Christmas if you’re in the UK)?” “I’ve heard you’re not allowed to do Santa if you follow Gentle Parenting – is that true?” I think many are confused about Gentle Parenting. It is simply a belief system that children deserve to be treated with respect andContinue reading “The Gentle Parenting Stance on Santa/Father Christmas”

Read the introduction to ‘Beginnings’ for free

I’m delighted to share with you the introduction to my new book ‘Beginnings: A Guide to child psychology and development for parents of 0-5 yr olds’.

The Curse of Growing up a ‘Good Girl’

We often mistake being ‘a good girl’ as a positive thing. So many want their daughters to be ‘good’. But it’s not positive – it is toxic. The pressure and weight of constantly burying your feelings and needs in the pursuit of caring for others eats away at you. It gets so very heavy.

Coping with Parental Burn Out

“I just can’t take any more!”, “I’ve had it up to here with being a parent!”, “I literally don’t have the capacity to handle this”, how many times have you said something similar? Every parent knows how it feels to be emotionally and physically wrung out, exhausted and unable to handle their children. We all know how it feels to be desperate for a break, and by a break I don’t just mean a brief week or two in the sun, but real, tangible time away from the demands of everyday life (including our children!).

Rebuilding Learning and Mental Health at School after the Covid Pandemic

Behaviour management is a very subjective topic and it should be personalised to the school setting, its demographic and the ethos the school imbeds…‘Bad behaviour’ is dealt with under the assumption that the individual needs help. Putting aside ‘persistent bad behaviour’ for now, we believe in dealing with contraventions to our school aims in a supportive way by talking through the issue and expecting pupils to realise for themselves what went wrong and, with our guidance, how to put things in place to rectify the matter in hand. This is highly effective and I rarely see children ‘reoffend’.

The 7 Golden Rules of Calmer Parenting

1. Everybody can be a calmer parent. It doesn’t take any special personality traits. Privilege does inevitably mean that life is sadly infinitely easier for some, but we can all do some work and make some changes, regardless of our life situations, that will have a positive impact (although I do accept that lack of privileges can and will limit the changes possible)

Why Perfectionism is the Enemy of Parents (and why ‘good enough’ is better).

This article is a little excerpt from my book: ‘How to be a Calm Parent’: Time and time again I come across parents who feel that they are failing their children because they have flaws. They believe that if they are not always ready and able to meet their child’s needs, then they are notContinue reading “Why Perfectionism is the Enemy of Parents (and why ‘good enough’ is better).”

Helping Children with Nighttime Anxiety and Fear

From an evolutionary perspective, fears and anxieties surrounding being left alone at night are entirely normal and actually important. This innate fear would have kept our offspring safe, at a time when they would have been most at risk if left alone. While life has changed immeasurably as our species has evolved, this natural fear has not moved with the times. We know our children are safe from predators, warm, dry and comfortable tucked up in their beds at night and so do our children, when you hold a rational conversation with them that is. Their instincts and psyche often says otherwise though.