What does it mean to a child when we say “good boy”? Do they know what ‘good’ means? Do they know what they did to make you happy? What about when we say “well done”? Well done for what? What about if they haven’t done something, but have persevered for hours, ‘failing’ each time at the task in hand, be that tying a shoelace, putting a shape in a shape sorter or building a tower of blocks. Is there effort not worth anything?
Are you potty training at the moment and despairing of your child’s accidents? Relax! They’re actually a great sign!
No – I haven’t gone insane. Yes, I have got children and yes, I do remember what it’s like to clear up umpteen accidents.
Praising a child for eating can be incredibly counter-productive. While the child may initially try to eat the food on offer, in exchange for lots of praise from their parents, the effect is unlikely to be long-lasting. The most worrying outcome of praise however is not the temporary effect it has, but how it encourages children to override their innate satiety cues in favour of pleasing their parent. Research has shown that children who are regularly praised for eating are statistically more likely to grow to be overweight in later life.
Bedtime resistance is common in the toddler and preschooler years and what was once an easy bedtime can often stretch out to hours. Similarly night waking may resurface (or not improve as expected). There are many reasons for disturbed bedtimes and waking, however the bedtime routine and what happens immediately before it is key in my opinion.
Boundaries play a crucial role in Gentle Parenting, in fact, so much so they really do form one of its cornerstones. I think the difficulty in understanding, comes from those who don’t really ‘get’ this style of parenting and also from those who practice it, but are a bit too scared to set and particularly enforce boundaries.
I felt like a good mum. I felt like I had this eating thing sorted. I didn’t understand why so many parents complained about their child’s eating. In fact, I believed that they had brought the problems upon themselves, by not offering their child a good range of different tastes and textures and instead pandering to their children. Oh, how wrong I was.
Preparing your list of questions in advance is vital. Write them down and take them with you to the meeting. If you run out of time to ask them all, ask the provider if you can send the rest over to them via email. Don’t feel embarrassed if your list is long, you are entrusting your most precious ‘possession’ in this person’s care!
Why Do Children Whine?
Children whine for many different reasons; however, there are some that are fairly universal. Let’s take a look at some of the most common reasons for whining and how to reduce them, using a mindful and gentle approach to discipline.
The most powerful thing I learned about childhood eating as a parent, was that picky eating is normal. By normal, I mean there are genuine physiological reasons why it exists and these reasons are often important in keeping the child safe. The relief I felt when I understood that the very behaviour I thought was hurting my son was actually keeping him safe was immense.
In summary, the answer to most potty training problems, especially pee related, can be summed up by focusing on three words. Three words that parents need to have bucket loads of during the process, however long it takes.
Confidence, Consistency, Compassion