Comparing children is possibly the most destructive mistake that parents of two or more children can make. If you have a sibling, how many times did you hear “why can’t you be good, like your sister?” or “your brother is so much easier than you!”? How did it make you feel when your parents compared you to your sibling? Resentful? Hurt? Angry? Not only can comparison drive a wedge between parent and child relationships, but it can also cause animosity between siblings. Labelling children can have similar unexpected negative consequences.
Author Archives: SarahOckwell-Smith
Is Screen Time Ever OK for Children?
Recently a new study was released, looking into the impact of screen time on toddlers and preschoolers. Predictably; the mainstream media picked up on the research and were all reporting the perils of screen time and how it should be avoided as much as possible for young children. The trouble is, these dire warnings were not supported by the actual findings of the study.
Second Time Mother Guilt – The Emotional Toil of Welcoming a Second Baby
One of the toughest things about becoming a mother for the first time, is learning to cope with feeling guilty. We feel guilty if we don’t ‘love every minute’ (nobody does by the way!), we feel guilty if we lose our temper, we feel guilty when we desperately need a break away from our children, we feel guilty about parenting choices we make, or those that were made for us and we feel guilty about not doing enough self-care. We just can’t win. Physical exhaustion and sleep deprivation aside, the guilt must be one of the worst things about new motherhood. First-time mother guilt is hard, really hard. The second time around, you have the same guilt you had the first time around and so much more. The good news is though, that it is normal. You’re not alone.
The Art of Saying ‘No’ to Children
I hear many myths surrounding gentle parenting. Some of them are so absurd that I simply just laugh them off. There are one or two though that really bother me. In particular the myth that “gentle parents don’t say ‘no’ to their children”. Because, actually – that really isn’t true. NO is not a dirty word and it definitely has a place in my parenting vocabulary.
Why Sibling Rivalry can be a GOOD Thing!
With so many resources giving parents advice to stop sibling fighting, we lose sight of the positive side of these seemingly negative interactions. Parents are often so eager to stop any fighting that they don’t realise that actually, most sibling fights, provide wonderful communication education, personal growth and emotional literacy to both siblings. To aim to stop any sibling squabbles is not only naïve (because no families have siblings that don’t fight, often regularly!), but a lost learning opportunity for the children.
How to Help Children to Cope with the Death of a Pet
Losing a pet can be a really tough time for children, it is however an incredibly important learning opportunity. For most children, the loss of a pet is their first encounter with death and grief, handling it well can really help for any future bereavements, animal or human. To start with, I suggest that youContinue reading “How to Help Children to Cope with the Death of a Pet”
The What, Why. When and How of Sleep Regressions
What Are Sleep Regressions? We often make the mistake of thinking that baby sleep is linear. By that, I mean the presumption that it starts off really bad when you have a newborn and then it gets progressively better as the baby gets older, until at some point it becomes ‘good’ like that of anContinue reading “The What, Why. When and How of Sleep Regressions”
Why Does Toddler Sleep Regress? (and what can you do to help?)
….it is very common for children who have previously ‘slept through the night’ as babies to start waking up again as toddlers. If you are there right now, the first thing you should understand is that it’s normal. The second thing you should understand is that it is transient and the third thing you should understand is that it isn’t happening because of you!
Potty Training Regressions and Refusals – Why They Happen and How to Cope!
While there are a multitude of different potty training problems, the two most common – and definitely the ones I get the most questions about – are regressions (accidents after a period of being fully dry/clean for a good while) and refusals (refusing to use the potty or toilet, most commonly after 3-7 days of beginning training). Let’s look at both of these, the reasons that are usually behind them and what parents can do about them.
The Dreaded Nap Drop – How to Cope When Your Child Drops Their Nap
When your child stops napping it’s likely that they will grumpy in the days sometimes, that’s normal. They are learning to last the day without a nap.
Sarah Ockwell-Smith 