One of the toughest things about becoming a mother for the first time, is learning to cope with feeling guilty. We feel guilty if we don’t ‘love every minute’ (nobody does by the way!), we feel guilty if we lose our temper, we feel guilty when we desperately need a break away from our children, we feel guilty about parenting choices we make, or those that were made for us and we feel guilty about not doing enough self-care. We just can’t win. Physical exhaustion and sleep deprivation aside, the guilt must be one of the worst things about new motherhood. First-time mother guilt is hard, really hard. The second time around, you have the same guilt you had the first time around and so much more. The good news is though, that it is normal. You’re not alone.
Let’s get this out there right now. Gentle parenting isn’t permissive parenting. For those who are new to gentle parenting, perhaps practitioners of more mainstream methods, the most common criticism is relating to supposed permissiveness. They are wrong. Boundaries, limits and discipline play a crucial role in gentle parenting. If you do not discipline your child how can you be truly respectful of them?
There is one thing you may not have thought about though. I know this because I’ve worked with thousands of parents like you. I was you once. Please take my advice and spend some time in your pregnancy to read up on the norms of infant sleep.
What is Gentle Parenting? In my opinion it can be summed up with just four words: 1. Empathy 2. Respect 3. Understanding 4. Boundaries 1. Empathy Parenting with your child’s feelings in mind as much as possible. Using empathy (or what some psychologists call ‘mind-mindedness’) to gain insight into your child’s behaviour and using empathyContinue reading “What is Gentle Parenting?”
Almost 11 years ago I gave birth to my firstborn. I had planned a home waterbirth, however after 2 days of latent labour and 16 hours of active labour at home I transferred into hospital for an epidural and augmentation of labour (syntocinon drip), I know now why this happened – a combination of lackContinue reading “Why Telling a Positive Birth Story Makes you a ‘Smug Mummy’.”
Bonding issues are so common but so rarely discussed in our society, there is such a stigma attached to a new mother who isn’t head over heels in love with her newborn. Commonly these feelings appear after a traumatic birth experience and it is with this in mind that I am writing this post. TheContinue reading “How to Heal from a Traumatic Birth & Bond with Your Baby”
With my first baby I was determined to do everything right and have the ‘perfect’ birth. I went to NCT classes, read the monthly pregnancy magazines and watched every birth programme I could on TV. I wrote a three page long birth plan, that at best was hoping for miracles, and my bag was packedContinue reading “Preparing for Birth – 8 Tips for an Easier Labour.”
I always thought the term babymoon sounded a little bit odd, the sort of thing only hippies would do, locking themselves away from the rest of the world with their babies for days after the birth. I wanted to show my baby off to the world, I wanted to get back to normal and mostContinue reading “Top Ten Babymoon Tips – AKA How to Enjoy the Time after Your Baby is born.”
This is part 2 of a two part blog on ‘big babies’ please CLICK HERE for part 1. So What are Your Birth Options with a Big Baby? Having birthed four big babies myself and through my involvement in the birthing scene ever since, I have come to conclude that if you are carrying a suspectedContinue reading “Big Babies – Birthing a Macrosomic Infant – Part 2.”
Thousands of women are diagnosed with suspected big babies (or ‘macrosomia’ to use the medical terminology) every year, but this one simple label can have a profound effect on their birth. Obstetric consultants often take the results of growth scans as gospel, scheduling elective C-Sections or inductions as a result of them, but how accurateContinue reading “Big Babies – The Curse of (mis) Diagnosing a Macrosomic Infant Part.1”